Black guy who happens to like non black women

So I got bored tonight and I thought it would be interesting to search on Google: black guy dating white girl problems. It seemed harmless enough, seeing as how I was curious to see how often others have dealt with some of the set backs I have had with dating. I however found a bunch of random Yahoo questions and Wikianswers on the subject matter, and a few article. I say on the subject matter with a bit of caution though seeing as how none of it really seemed to be what I was looking for. I myself am a black american male who happens to have a college degree, listens to all types of music, works for a country radio station, loves crazy and weird things, loves to bake, loves to cook, is a Women's studies major, and works in an advocacy office working on a program to end sexual violence against women.

    Now that the introductions are out of the way, I have had many short comings with dating and a lot of it hasn't been centered around my personality. I have had many rejections, either for real or as an excuse, based on the color of my skin. I have herd all of the negative things that black women have had to say to me about dating white women, yet none of them wanted to date me in the first place. I have always been told that I was a white/black kid and that it wasn't really a shocker that I like white women. Let me get this straight right now, I am not putting down black women at all, I just know I will get shit for like who I like. I know that I find a girl who has a strong moral fiber, loves fitness, loves sports (possibly plays one), loves to have fun, can be unpredictable, and doesn't let the world pre-describe her path for her, extremely attractive! My track record would say that I only like white women, but I believe all women are beautiful. So no don't get angry at me because I don't like a big girl, or think that I don't like a girl with curves cause i'm an Uncle Tom. I emulate who I am around and I know what I like, so I would much rather have a woman who kinda gives me something to aspire to be worthy of, shares my interest, and keeps me guessing.

   Anyways I side tracked there for a bit; I found in my search that many of the sites were about the stereotypes of white women being more docile that black women, and how kids won't have any culture if they are mixed. I guess I have a slightly feminist perspective on this, but most of the things talked about shouldn't really be issues. Let me say this, BLACK MEN: NOT ALL WHITE WOMEN WILL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, NOR ARE THEY DOCILE AND NEED A MAN TO TELL THEM WHAT TO DO. Rinse and repeat for BLACK WOMEN, white men, and anyone else who thinks its opposite. Black women, you are who you are. You are not defined by the characteristics the media says you should be. All women who do not have natural hair spend tons of money on hair. Black and white women will not get a $200 hair style wet right after they got it done. Although with black women trying to fit into the "manageable" hair world, they will definitely not be going in the water too often.

I'm not blaming all of my dating woes of women or the friend zone. Which by the way GUYS, is not a male only space. Men put women in the friend zone in a different way and that is all. In our society men do the asking on average, so by not asking or showing interest in a girl guys avoid the put down and place their female counterparts in the same friend zone that everyone who is there inhabits. I digress, I know that now i have a failure to ask issue and I don't ask women out really now because of the fear of not having a shot because of my skin color. I know that I don't go through the phases of a relationship as defined by society. I don't like the honeymoon phase and I skip it; I feel like we have been friends and hanging out long enough already to not really need it.

I don't really have all the answers but I would like for us all to just be able to like who we like because of the person they are. I want to have interracial children some day and that what I like. You can hate me or love me for it, it really won't change my day to day operations. My kids will know they are my and my wife's children, and they will have " the best of both worlds" so to speak. If I am not what you are looking for, don't get angry at me for not liking you. If you are not what I am looking for, don't get mad at me for not liking you. Relationships are the first step in giving up the selfishness of life, in having to share your existence with another person and understanding that your decisions affect more people than just you.

Peace Out Girl Scouts

Godly view

Alright so there isn't an actual reason for me to be tying other than its 4 am and I just need to get something off my chest so that I can wake up the next morning and put a happy face on and get job #1 LIFE out of the way! I dunno i sometime wonder how much happier my life would have been if I had been aborted and or ended up passing in my younger years when non of the pitfalls of life were constantly in waiting to trip me up and open up allowing to plummet to my inevitable doom. I know this isnt a very happy and or funny segment but I guess everyone has to have their down moments in this Chronology called life! EH FUCK IT! Im not going to life if I thought about how my life might be easier at least for a brief instance. To take away all of the pains of the world at large and universe at home, and know that it would all be over for you in the next millisecond. Why are humans put on this planet to endure such hardships and cruelties. A few religious people would say that god has a plan.

This is pretty much how I view GOD'S daily activities



with maybe a few more thousand televisions...

Life Without College

I am hounded every year by the Student Loan Police, I have multiple part-time jobs, and I have an amazing resume. So then why am I so unhappy with my graduation from a 4 year university? I am super unemployed with a mountain of debt and no clear look at the future being any brighter. If i had started working right after high school I wouldnt have all 3/4th's of this debt! I would have a job and have been working there for 7 years and with my initiative probably have moved up once or twice. Now after 7 years, 2 schools, hundreds of friends, 10+ part time jobs, 2 fulltime jobs, 5 years of rent payment, and 3 years of car insurance payments, I still sit here with no experience in the things that most college kids face coming out of school.

All I want is a job that can get me out of debt before I am 70!

Honestly I should feel lucky there are some people who have 20-30 thousand dollars more college debt than me!

So why do we get the college experience? Why do we shovel out a ton of money with no guarantee of a return?

Hair Journey Thing

So i know it has been a while but I am back to write about this new thing that I want to embark upon. I was bored on Monday night and couldn’t sleep so I decided to get online like any other 21 Century person would. I don’t know how or why but I ended up looking for ways to grow my hair by using Google, and I came across this kid Dmac Version 1 on Youtube and decided to give his hair journey videos a watch. Even though I am bummed that it is going to take like a year for my hair to grow into a giant afro it should be worth it at the end. I figured I would do this thing just to get a giant afro for all of the sporting events I attend, but as I sat down over the last few days I have realized some things. I think that through this process I will be forced to be in situations and in areas where black people meet and congregrate.  I know I know, I look like I would be okay being there but I usually am never in the company of other Super tan American’s such as myself. I don’t really socialize that well unless they are like me. One thing that I have noticed is that I don’t care what anyone thinks of me and I will be Alec all day every day. A lot of time im seen as weird or crazy because I am not afraid to be myself in any situation. One big thing in the African American community is showing that you are a man and not afraid of anyone. That is just a weird concept to me…

Any ways I feel that this journey will do one major thing for me…. MAKE ME FINISH SOMETHING!!! If I can stick with this I may be able to also stick with a workout schedule and maybe even move forward with a business idea or an invention! I have tons of ideas all of the time and I can put them on paper but I never go anywhere with them; mainly because of my own lack of knowledge.  Well anyways I have started this thing and it has been 3 days so far and I am still going strong! Yay Me!

I will try and update this journey and experience as often as things happen and on a monthly basis with photos of my hair growth.

POGS Bitches POGS   

Tulip

This ones for the people who just sit idly by
the ones who never got to laugh and only made to cry
the ones who who held your head on that long night
the ones who held you close, safe, warm, and tight
Those people who were genuine and cared for you
that person who noticed every little thing you do
the ones who both hate and love to see you smile
the one who maybe hasnt been around for a while
that single, happy spark in your life at the right time
when just that persons voice could make you smile
this is for that guy that grits and bears it everyday
this is for that girl who sits by and waits for you to say
Say that you noticed their patience and see their pain
and that you've come now to change their loss into gain
to reciprocate their hidden a buried emotions
to believe in them and concede to their notions
but that will never come to pass
so they will continue to sit and amass,
these emotions that they feel for you
and fantasize of dreams not true.
Friends are great and friends are awesome
and it can be better if friendship can blossom.

:)

POGS

USF Softball Fan Dance

Just a little dance w/ me and my girl Girl Scout for our USF Softball team!! Check it!

Van Wilder Syndrome

Okay soo I have been meaning to write this for a while...which basically means that I have been suppressing my emotions, just like any other good male. Whatever, so what I wanted to talk about for a long time is my career here in college. I call it a career because it is the longest thing, besides life, that I have done consistently to date. Even now that I have a Bachelors I am still hanging around college students and going to parties; ya know not really moving on with my life I guess. That's just it though; what is it that is really waiting for me beyond the threshold of college? Is it this world of unknown opportunities or a world of bend over and take it for years, just to never fully reach a position of any real influential decision making? It took me 5 years to graduate because mainly I have the mind of an Engineer trapped inside of the personality of a Extrovert!  I wish I had found my current group of friends when I transferred over here, but sadly my brain knows that is a logical impossibility because I would have been out of school and on to a career that I would suffer in for years if I graduated on time. I know that the punctuation's aren't correct (if they are let me know!) but i blame that on the math and a little bit on the rambling. Any who I am going to break this para/powergraph up because its boring.

Ahhh thats a bit better. Okay, so this thing college that we all pay a boat load for is sadly something that some of the worlds richest, not wealthy, people have never attended because it was a waste of time and ground in a theoretical nature. Its hard to write with that playing in the background lol. I don't really know what the point of  this rambling was other than to express the fact that I am 7 years into this life stlye and I understand that the pressures of society want me to "grow up", but let me tell you something as you read. I am optimistic and crazy because I have grown up way more that a kid should have in his younger years and I have bottled up a lot of things that I am learning to let go slowly but surely. I am not an open book because I never have had that luxury. I am an African American male who takes people for who they are and not their Religion, Creed, Status, Sexual Orientation, Beliefs, Disbeliefes, or their Race (which is a falicy created to produce a validation in humanities difference and evolutionary traits). You are who you are and your gunna do what your going to do; so really all i can do is try my best to be your friend/associate for the time being and possibly longer.

P.S.- Old school love songs are my thing so I have this need/want to LOVE someone........

"When you have been through a lot in your life and have decided not to let it define you your actions may come of as being childish. Those of us who know where you are know better on the other hand. We know its just Calculated Optimism."- Alec 

Peace Out Girl Scouts